Why You’re Not Feeling It and How to Get Your Groove Back
Hey there, lovely humans! It's Heidi Oh, your friendly neighborhood sex and intimacy coach, coming to you with some real talk about something that’s on a lot of minds but not always on the tip of the tongue: what to do when you’re just not feeling the desire for your partner anymore. And while we’re at it, let’s tackle another couple of biggies: “I’ve never had an orgasm” and “I want to have better sex.” Yes, we’re diving right into the deep end today because these are the questions I hear all the time, and Darling, you deserve answers that actually help.
So, What’s Going On?
First things first, if you’re struggling with desire—or lack thereof—you’re not broken. Let me repeat that: You. Are. Not. Broken. You might just be a little out of sync with your body, your partner, or even with yourself. Life’s gooey mess (yes, the goo again!) can sometimes cover up our ability to connect with our deepest, most intimate selves. Stress, kids, work, and let’s not forget, societal expectations, can all muck things up in the bedroom.
But here’s the good news: we can work through this together! Let’s talk about a few things that might be getting in the way of your desire:
The Mental Load:
You’re carrying a mental checklist the length of a CVS receipt, and let me tell you, that’s not sexy. If you’re constantly thinking about what’s next—dinner, bills, the dog’s vet appointment—it’s no wonder desire has taken a back seat.
Connection with Yourself:
When’s the last time you took a moment to really check in with yourself? I’m not talking about scrolling through Instagram or catching up on Netflix. I’m talking about tuning into how you feel, both emotionally and physically. If you’re not connected with yourself, it’s hard to connect with anyone else.
Emotional Goo:
This is my favorite topic. Your goo—those messy, emotional bits you might be hiding—could be clogging up the works. Shame, guilt, fear of vulnerability, they all get in the way of desire. But here’s the thing: once you start embracing the goo, you can begin to feel more alive, more present, and yes, more turned on.
Orgasm Troubles? Let’s Chat.
Now, onto the big O. If you’ve never had an orgasm, I want you to know that you’re not alone. Many people (and I mean many) struggle with this. Orgasms aren’t just about physical stimulation; they’re also about being mentally and emotionally in the right space. If you’re constantly in your head or worrying about how you look or what your partner thinks, your body is going to have a hard time letting go.
Here’s a little secret: orgasms often start in the brain. Yep, your biggest sexual organ isn’t what you think it is! Let’s work on quieting those mental distractions, getting comfortable with your body, and finding what truly feels good for you—whether that’s through solo exploration or with a partner. And remember, the journey to an orgasm can be just as important as the destination.
Want Better Sex? You’ve Come to the Right Place.
So, you want better sex? Of course you do! Who doesn’t? But let’s get specific: what does better sex mean to you? More connection? More frequency? More variety? Better communication? It could be all of the above.
Here’s my advice: start by having fun. Seriously. Playfulness can do wonders for your sex life. Stop trying to make every encounter the best sex ever and just enjoy the moment. Flirt with your partner, laugh in bed, and don’t be afraid to experiment. The goal isn’t perfection; it’s connection.
And for those of you searching for “Kansas City sex coach” or “Kansas City sex therapist,” guess what? You’ve found me! I’m here to help you explore your desires, connect with your partner, and most importantly, connect with yourself. Whether you’re struggling with desire, dealing with orgasm issues, or just want to have better sex, we can work together to create a love life that feels juicy, fulfilling, and deeply satisfying.
Ready to Get Started?
If you’re nodding along thinking, “Yes, Heidi, this is exactly what I need!” then let’s chat. I offer coaching sessions in Kansas City, and I’d love to help you get your groove back. Whether it’s through one-on-one coaching, couples sessions, or even group workshops, we’ll dive into the goo, explore what’s holding you back, and create a plan to get you where you want to be.
So, what are you waiting for? Let’s make things juicy again. Reach out to me at www.heidioh.com and let’s start your journey to better sex, deeper connections, and a more fulfilling love life.
Until then, go have fun, be kind to yourself, and remember: the best connections start with you.
With all the gooey goodness,
